So You Just Bought A Jeep...
So You Just Bought A Jeep...
I’m gonna get this out of the way right meow. When I’m talking about a Jeep, I’m talking about a Wrangler or a Gladiator. Something with a solid axle front and rear, like an old XJ Cherokee or a ZJ Grand Cherokee even. These other…things they have out here with the Jeep badging are not Jeeps. They may identify as a Jeep but when you pull down their drawers you will notice that something is….off. And look man, I’m as cool as they come and I’m all about having folks do whatever they need to to feel like themselves all the time, I want everyone to be happy as long as it doesn’t infringe upon my happiness, but quit your bullshit when you pull up into our parking lot with your fake Jeep Liberty talking about wheelin’ it in Moab. GTFO of here bro. You can’t even deliver mail in that thing on some of our county roads.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about your most recent vehicular purchase. We will limit it to the new Wrangler JL and Gladiator JT because I’m not trying to go down a rabbit hole and the internet favors brevity, something about attention spans. You bought this thing to do stuff to it, right? Who would drive a stock Jeep? That’s almost serial killer behavior. And when I say “do stuff to it” I don’t mean fake trail badges, ducks (WTF?) or cool custom stickers on the hood that says RECTUM or whatever. Come on now. But spare tire covers with a badass howling wolf or something is a concession I’m willing to make. The first order of business is going to be to get that thing up in the air, give it the little blue pill as it were. Even a little 2″ spacer lift goes a long way. Just something enough to get a bigger tire under, which is the next order of business. More than likely this thing is going to spend most of its time on paved surfaces so I’d recommend an aggressivish all terrain, unless you’re that guy that wants mud tires so it looks cool while you’re in the drive through at Starbucks for your latte enema.
And when it comes to wheels you can totally run a stock setup, lots of folks do. Most factory Jeep wheels are 17’s, which is great because that means the tires will have something I like to call “sidewall” which will help the Jeep not drive like what I call “total shit”. You can even run some wheel spacers to poke them out a little and be like one of the cool kids. But if you are so inclined, you can put aftermarket wheels on that thing and the options are pretty much limitless there because aftermarket support for Jeeps is its own multiverse.
You’re gonna take the doors and top off, right? RIGHT?! Then why the hell did you buy it, weirdo? Let’s pretend you’re gonna take the top and doors of. In that case I would recommend a Spiderwebshade. What’s that you ask. Well, it’s basically a screen that allows light through when the top is off, but it keeps you from getting fried like bacon from the Sun. It’ pretty neat and helps keep out that pesky melanoma.
There’s a million billion ways a Jeep can be molested by these are my first few recommendations. These are just my opinions and what do I know anyway. But be forewarned, this can become a lifestyle. It can lead to late nights on Jeep forums and the information there has the ability to warp your very perception of reality. If you need a gentle hand to guide you on this journey then feel free to swing through Off-Road King and we’ll sort you out. But be careful with Blake’s hands because his fingers look like marital aids. I remind him of this constantly. K love you bye.